I've read that too much stress can actually kill you, so here I address my own realization of my pent up stress, anger, and frustration, and how I cleansed myself (if only just once... so far).
This past weekend my husband was doing yard work around the house, and I'd mentioned that I would help him if I could, which he actually was happy to hear and ended up holding me to my word... Long story short, I dropped the boys off at my mom's for a bit and returned feeling not-so-ready to tackle the physical demands of forming flower beds and tearing out old plants. The truth is, I've never really done any kind of yard work beyond mowing and raking a few times, and it seemed a daunting and overwhelming task. Add to that my foul mood that had been nagging me in varying intensities for weeks (think Seasonal Affective Disorder, but past winter and into May).
So, when I returned from dropping off my kids, what I really wanted to do was relax a little with some wine, which would have temporarily boosted my mood, but wouldn't have a produced a positive effect in the long run. I decided to begin my endeavor by digging out a very old and scraggly rose bush, with the possibility of transplanting it somewhere else and eventually cultivating beautiful roses I could merrily clip and bring inside to add cheer to my home with their lovely scent and delicate petals.
As I started digging, the realized the dirt around the roots of the bush was filled with rocks, and I couldn't get a clean cut through the soil no matter how many times I tried. I abruptly changed my plan, dropped my shovel, picked up the pick ax and repeatedly slammed it into the dirt and roots, pulling and ripping with all my strength as I went until all the roots were out and broken. When it was all over, I looked up... and smiled. I felt SO FREAKING GOOD! I couldn't wait to tear out the two remaining bushes! If beating and ripping this one bush to pieces felt this great, the other two would feel even better! Well, unfortunately my husband intercepted me before I got to the other two with the pick ax, and I ended up digging those out. Still, the effect that first experience had on me wasn't lost. I knew right away why I felt so good. All my pent up anger, frustration, resentment, and general negativity had completely been expelled through the act of tearing that bush to shreds. It was a "Eureka!" moment.
As a mom, a stay-at-home-mom, with two toddler boys ages 2 years and almost 4 years old, my days are riddled with frustrations. Be they small or large in nature, they add up. This girl doesn't get much stress-free down-time away from my kiddos, and even when I do I'm usually too consumed with guilt over actually doing something for myself, or worried about how long I've been gone, to really enjoy myself. Then there are other stresses too, like money or just petty bickering.
After experiencing the immediate stress-relief from the physical act of tearing something up I've realized that I need an outlet for my frustrations. Otherwise, my kids, my husband, and my mom will inevitability end up being my outlet, and they don't deserve that. I've read that stress can kill you, so it's important to either avoid it (I can't avoid my family, nor do I want to!), or find a way to release and relieve it. I haven't found a way to regularly release my pent up stress yet, but at least now I realize that I need to.
I've done a brief search on the benefits of physically releasing anger in order to provide additional information for anyone interested, but so far I just keep finding articles that only address how to deal with anger when it happens, and then how to try to reprogram yourself to not get angry, which I think is a bunch of crap. If you're human, you're bound to get angry sometimes, and there's nothing wrong or unhealthy about it.
I'll do some more searching and hopefully return in the near future with a useful link...
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